On Floundering Hope....

In the past one year,

many a colossus has fallen and been bemoaned by humanity....

Institutions, people that were once revered have been reviled...

and along with these leviathans; more importantly...

hope too has seemingly fallen...

and the world; suddenly is not the same place anymore....

This is our generations great depression say soothsayers; 

The worst is yet ahead of us, say the pessimists,

Strap up for a rough ride say the realists,

and the optimists are suddenly nowhere to be found...

It's said that during those sombre years of the last depression, 

It was a certain Babe Ruth and his magical play

that collectively, brought a smile to many a furrowed brow,

and hope, albeit momentarily to many a troubled heart.

Am sure me and other countless afficianados have been firm believers

in the fact that Sports, has always transcended human affairs,

and by means of providing a healthy distraction,

has helped many a soul appreciate the bigger picture

But, This Sunday evening , 

the storm clouds that had arrived on the horizon,

suddenly got darker....

venomously darker...

Last Year, amidst all the tumultous falls, another wall had shown signs of breaching,

but towards the end had shown signs of a resurge,  and millions across the globe had 

thanked their stars that hope was still alive...

and prayed for the new year to ring in a fresh start...

But a relentless and indefatigable force, has just announced that not only is it here,

its here to stay for good...

the force is not a dark one though,

It's just that, the force carries with it;

that pall of inevitability that seems to have enveloped us all;

a pall that's robbed us of our confidence in providence...

The force is a rude reminder that all that is magical, joyous, serene, and exhilarating

is but ephemeral;

a momentary flash that has to be and will be snuffed out

by brute force, power and limitless energy.

A superbly oiled, phenomenally trained, impeccably tuned 

machine; has tasted blood, and once too many today;

A symbol of virtuosity, simplicity, beauty, artistry;

was left devastated in the wake of the all sweeping force today...

and even as mortals like me, could hardly gape,

and let the consequences of this gloom sink in...

alas! that beacon of hope...

alas! that maestro...

chose to do something,

that has blotted, this already darkest of times...

He cried.....

Fed.....dont ...dont .... 

not now, not in front of us... not with whats happening...

Please Fed...Bounce Back...

Get the world back on track....

Please Fed...Bounce Back...

 

Mumbai....Meri Jaan...

It's finally over...I hope it's over...

dont know when I've been so completely taken up with something thats not had any direct effect on me in anyway...and i dont think it's just me ... Everyone i know has been glued to the tv sets for the past three days...everyone has an opinion...and everyone has something brewing inside...

Visuals of a city under siege..horror stories of unbridled mayhem in places which anybody who's been to mumbai..would remember to have walked freely about..admiring the view.... 

Terror has never hit home so hard, and so close to our generation at least...ever....

the death toll as i hit out at my keys is touching 190....

and rising....

200+families in mourning today...a son, a father, a sister,a  mother...dead for no reason at all..or a reason that we, the ordinary people will never understand ...

a bunch of loons..armed to the teeth, just seemingly floated into India's most influential city and caused this mayhem leaving destuction and terror in their stay...and we as a nation have watched this unfold in our living rooms...with a growing sense of frustration, anger and rage. What?? How?? we actually let em do all this??  

Forget the 'why' for a while...whatever god forsaken political, religious, national alliances they had...goddammit...let that be damned for a while...

The fact that our nations security hangs by the finest of threads..and lives of innocent millions are just there... ripe for the picking for those b##$$ is ridiculous...and scary....

and this strike brings home a lot of other incidents..i confess that all the other blasts that have happened this year, Malegaon, Delhi, Jaipur, Guwahati.... they hardly registered on my radar... people died there as well...not in such; if i may use the word 'glamorous' situations....but human lives have been lost...

There are fewer things that disgust me more at the moment than an ad by the BJP in the newspaper accusing the congress for these lapses...is this the time to indulge in such political one-up manships?? are our chosen national representatives such insensitive oafs ?? ...

Running a  close second would be the homegrown 'terrorists' we have...a bespectacled 'Marathi' idiot who sets aflame passions, with 'his city'  Mumbai under siege... he conveniently went missing for two days...and the Janus sided Gujarat CM who offered a widow a cash reward, thankfully to be rudely rebutted...

I see a shattered Major Unnikrishnans mom...Hemant Karkare's wife...Gajendra Singhs children... and a mass of multitudes at their last rites...

and thousands of others like me who grieve alongside..and have been rather tragically shown what being a 'true hero' is all about... the army..the forces... the police... who ' give their todays for our tommorow' ... we salute the men... better late than never...

As a worked up Barkha Dutt on screen put it... "Today...we are all Mumbaikars..."

I sit; a scared and frustrated man today... frustrated that in our country incidents and events like these, are becoming a daily occurence...and all I can do is sit, twiddle my thumbs...and blog out my rage...

scared that tommorow..it just might be somebody i know, like it's been today for so many in Mumbai...will i be able to take it??

Not sure..not sure at all... 

 

Why Do I Quiz: Part 2

For anyone who's read part-1 of the similarly titled piece....this is not exactly an extension of whatever was stated then...

It's more out of want for a better title on what has been a trying and tribulating day...

The Hindu Young World quiz in delhi 1999...led a team from school to the event...came nowhere close to qualifying for the finals...even as the audience...couldnt know a word of what the quizmaster was hollering about...just knew that the chaps from DPS were answering left, right, centre...went home a shaken, make it terribly shaken kid...

A quiz by 'pickbrain' in college 3rd year...somehow after a miraculous prelims...make it through to the finals...after an enervating 1 hour..come back down with 5 points..1 answered question...and a devastated ego...

Another quiz called 'quiztrac' in Coimbatore...fellow college goers would recognise it to be coimbatores biggest open quiz...I rather remember it as my biggest heartbreaker..three times in a row...2004-5-6...could just sigh as was left high and dry in the prelims itself...all the bloody time...

2007: BT Acumen Finals....the euphoria was yet to set in..was actually in the east zone finals....
with the closest thing to an idol that i have...harsha bhogle hosting...walked onto stage at the IIM-C audi...before an amazing harsha and a fabulous audience............
...and went to pieces.... finished in last spot....

2008: Tata Crucible Semi-Finals: Land up in the shooutout round for a spot in the finals of Crucible...the holy grail of any campus quizzer..take three minuses and one plus.... end up in the negative at the end of the round...out ..and that too in some way....

and today...The BT acumen 2008 finals...qualified again...same IIM-C audi...Harsha was there again..the audience too...heck i even got the same spot that i had last year...
...
...
the lakes at IIM-C have a curious thing about them..little ripples come up...break up, recede...and then back up again...

I finished second to last today....after the home team had all but decimated us...once again...came home with just a bagful of bruised dreams...

My quizzing ripples too have always seemed to break-up..sooner or later...true...winning isn't everything...and i can hear a couple saying.."hey...isnt this the same guy who said he quizzed for the sake of quizzing"...sure ...still am....
but the problem with being passionate is; the fact that passion unfortunately; hates being told you're just not good enough...

but the best part of the ripples are that they just dont stop coming...to break-up maybe..but they just dont stop...not their style...

so i pack up and look towards crucible'08...another disaster in the offing perhaps..but never mind...i live to die..another day...

Goodbye Jumbo...

Surprisingly...have never written about another lingering passion of mine ...cricket; on the blog...ever...

the tipping point though arived today 3:00 pm....

was standing outside 'south indian' as it is called...after a very very heavy curd rice meal ready to drop off on the road itself...thats when it arrived...

"score kya hua hai??" ...
"kucch tha 208 declared....aur haan....kumble's retired by the way...."
"kyya????"
"haan haan....just declared it in the morning...injured bhi to hai...."

and that was that....
not for the first time..was left speechless and shocked in the middle of a road...

drifted back to my first lingering memory of kumble...
think it was the hero cup final against west indies in 1993....

a lanky, bespectacled...rocket scientist lookalike...stormed the windies; who were demolishing teams till then..in the finals...
6/12 his final figures i still remember...amazing,astounding,magical bowling...
as eden gardens erupted in fireworks...india...and lil manoj suddenly had a brand new hero...

was in third standard at that time...remember twirling my arm over for a year after that wanting to be 'kumbleee'....

another match in 1996...against the aussies..before they were 'THE' aussies....India had fallen apart after sachins departure as usual...and a tearful lil manoj was watching crestfallen till kumble and srinath took the likes of fleming and co by the scruff of their necks and actually batted india to an improbable win...

1998..at the kotla...on a dirt bowl of a track...much to a slightly older lil manoj's sadistic pleasure..batsman after batsman had absolutely no answer to jumbo's doosras,teesras and 'etc'ras that were coming at them....remember cursing aloud when the 10th pakistani batsman skied up the ball in somebody elses over fearing that his perfect 10 would not arrive....
thankfully...even the gods didnt want it that way...only the 2nd person ever to take a perfect 10 in the history of cricket...wow....just wow...

was not following a series in the carribean where India were getting slaughtered...a friend in college mentioned one fine day..."kumble's got guts dude...damn..you should have seen him yesterday..." confused...started to the nearest cyber cafe...remember my first reaction on seeing that pic of his bowling replete with strapped jaw..."shit...holy shit" courage thy name is kumble...

and strangely...the most recent memory comes from a quiz question.... "who scored the only century for India in england last season....??" ... before i could get my rusty brain on track... another team burst out on the buzzer excitedly... "Kumble!!!" ...

"whoa?? well....yeah..actually...kumble!! wow!"

Jumbo's cricketing heroics would require a separate blog per se...and these stray reflections are more of my personal memories...in a cricketing world replete with bully's, overtly macho and overtly competitive 'super-stars', holier than thou attitude throwers...Jumbo was always a revelation....fiercely competitive...a tiger on the field...and yet always the perfect gentleman off it...

"he cant spin..." , "no variation" "medium-pacer" "indian pitches only" and many many other things...said the critics...and toady a report card that says 500+test wickets...India's highest wicket taker...and that too by quite a number...

for over a decade when India's bowling languished..Jumbo valiantly toiled for that elusive breakthrough...on flat pancakes of tracks...in killing conditions India's lone bowling hope....jumbo...walked on...without complaining...he spun on...

the old guard is changing....Dada first....now Jumbo...and there are quite a few fledgings right in place...yet....yet....

stray idiots will rejoice that "the oldies gone..he was no good anyways..." cynics will say.. "was a paper tiger...harbhajan has always been better" ..and tearful goodbyes like this one shall also be penned down...

the fledglings shall take over the ball...and the advent of 'captain courageous' dhoni will finally be complete...

and yet...amidst all of this...valiantly...silently...manfully...and as ever..humbly....kumble shall declare his innings over...

a legend walked off a cricket field for the last time today....a legend...

was not shedding tears (that is reserved for the damned day the lil master will decide to hang up his boots), but with an absolutely heavy heart walked off home...
cos a little part of me, a bit of 'lil manoj' had also walked off into the sunset...

She is...

my wake up call on holidays in delhi...

firm tugs of the bed sheet...repeated calling in her sweet sing song voice...and occasional dripping drops of water delivered amidst incessant giggles...

my nemesis when it comes to TV watching...much better at handling that god-damned contraption that is the dish tv remote...and of course much faster...and consequently, never allowing even the faintest trace of sporting activity on the screen...

a constant critic of my daily jaunts with the school gang..."you're not going out with them again??" being her constant refrain...

a walking-talking excel sheet of my bloopers...." u didnt switch off your laptop..."...."the fans still on there..."

"take a bath!! It's 1... "

a live feed of info to mom...." manoj's on the phone; for the last 1 hour! ....he's still sleeping.... he's saying something behind your back...."

the staccato of noise in the background when am trying to take my afternoon nap...

constant sharer of her 'away from home' issues....disturbing 'colleagues'...amazing friends...threatening old ladies all of whose names begin with 'sister'....

frequent framer of exasperating serial questions like "what do you want to be when you grow up?? you still dont know?? how come?? " .... "is that girl you're talking to on the phone the girl you're gonna marry?? when is the marriage?? can you buy me a new gown for it?? "

ender of all of her occasional skirmishes with the family with the mother of all "am such a cute lil thing ...y r u doin this to me" expressions...

most importantly though....

still remember her entry into my life 6 years ago...wrapped up in a sheet..bawling her lungs out...

remember the many nights during class 12 examinations when I've had night swotting sessions with her comfortably nestled on my shoulder...gently going to sleep with intricacies of physics in the background...

her particular tendency to choose to relieve herself precisely whenever i eagerly lifted her up after a tiring day at school...

her gradual growing up that has somehow corresponded to me maturing ( or trying to act like i am at least...)

the shriek of 'manoj annnaaaaaa" and the huge hug everytime i came/come home for vacations...

the feeling of "heck...life can wait" whenever she falls asleep on my shoulders while watching "bob the builder" or "pumba..." ( or whatever that hideous purple thing on pogo is)

panacea of all kinds of depression with her frequent hugs and giggles...

to...

the sweetest lil thing i know...

my lil sister...whos turned all of a wonderful 7 today...

happy birthday ammu :)

PS: Anna's not that great a writer; still...

hope you'll love it whenever you're old enough to get down to reading this!

Not The City I Grew Up In...

Courtesy a gang of friends chock-a-block with delhi's 'bhadralok'...Durga Puja nights have always meant an amazing array of dazzling pandals, maddening crowds, joyous festivity and great music...

being in delhi after years of missing the pujo...was quite looking forward to being a part of the celebrations this time around....made a mental list of all the familiar haunts i wanted to get back to....

start with CR Park of course...move on to Sector-8 RKP...round off with Janakpuri....

the dazzle was there...the pandals have become more imposing...the idols are prettier...everything just the way i remembered it..and better....

except for the crowds...missing....conspicously missing....

"bombs ka darr hai beta"..a friends dad tells me...bahut kam log bahar aa rahe hain....

shaken a bit...i drift towards the people milling about....love all these conversations you can sit around and join into...love the mix of all kinds of people who come and spend their time here...

my fondest memories remain of me and a sikh friend of mine spending a considerable amount of time pandal hopping, eyecandy spotting and chatting up people...

caught whiffs of conversation going on...

"these ______, its all their fault....look at the terror they are spreading..."

"orissa mein jo hua...wo ek tarah se sahi hi tha...apne kitne logon ko convert kiya hai unhone"

"Their problem is their upbringing actually...they dont really think like us...alag hain bahut..."

agitated faces...and animated discussions...

"one off?" i ask my friend as we discuss the topic..." not really ...havent you noticed...a lot of conversations steer this way nowadays..."

the memories i take back at this bijoya are disturbing...

starkly thinner crowds...in fact the gun toting policemen seemed to be much more prominent, an air of impending trouble....and a very visible 'us versus them' theme to the celebrations....

maybe its just me....but at least for me....

 

Certainly....not the city i grew up in....not even close to it.... 

RAP just got wonderful....

special thanks to 'the cool guy with long hair' for getting me to this song :)

in all honesty...didnt have a lot of respect for rappers and music of the same ilk...

this one song's made me a believer...simple, from the heart yet downright profound...

wonderful...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qj3nWy7HMs